Following your kids on Facebook
June 9th, 2007 | by Tim Wilson |NY Times writer Michelle Slatalla relates her experience tormenting her daughter on Facebook in an article entitled “‘omg my mom joined facebook!!’.”
So last week I joined Facebook, the social network for students that opened its doors last fall to anyone with an e-mail address. The decision not only doubled its active membership to 24 million (more than 50 percent of whom are not students), but it also made it possible for parents like me to peek at our children in their online lair.
It’s an amusing article, but it mirrors some of the experiences I’ve had as a grown-up after interacting with teenagers I know in the online world. Many of them seem genuinely shocked that an old fogie like me knows how to log in to a web site let alone create a MySpace or Facebook profile.
Kids need a safe space to interact with one another beyond the prying eyes of their parents. Those kinds of spaces can be hard to come by in the online world, so maybe we should cut them some slack and keep our online profiles to ourselves. On the other hand, it can be so entertaining to torment your children.
10 Responses to “Following your kids on Facebook”
By Ed Kohler on Jun 9, 2007 | Reply
I’d sent happy birthday wishes to younger friends and contacts who I noticed were celebrating a birthday on MySpace or Facebook, but it seemed like it may have caught them off guard. Perhaps a slight invasion on their space, or a wakeup call that adults are moving in.
By Jude on Jun 9, 2007 | Reply
I avoided reading my daughter’s journals which she left lying around for years; I refrain from reading my son’s writing if I find it in the house, because I know he wouldn’t want me to read it. But I subscribe to every blog of my under-age kids and snoop away with only a modicum of guilt. When you’re putting yourself out there for an audience of millions, it’s a parent’s duty to be protective.
By Tim Wilson on Jun 9, 2007 | Reply
Jude, my parental instinct is to do as you suggest, but I’m a few years away from having to worry about it. I’m not entirely sure what I’ll do when the time comes.
By Scott McLeod on Jun 10, 2007 | Reply
I read this article too. Thought it was hysterical!
By jim forde on Jun 10, 2007 | Reply
You’re gonna’ snoop like the rest of us!
Jim Forde
By Steph Sauder on Jun 13, 2007 | Reply
My biggest challenge with FaceBook or MySpace will be learning all the acronymns and shortcuts!
By priscilla on Jun 21, 2007 | Reply
i want to be in the facebook so i can chose some friends to be in it.
By Melissa on Jul 9, 2007 | Reply
I think it is great that this mom is checking on her daughter’s online activities. I have never been to facebook, but I think if I had kids who were on it, I would at least want to know what it is like and what they were doing, who they were communicating with, and the like. I think a lot of parents are too worried about if their children like them/are happy with them instead of being worried about helping their kids grow into responsible adults who can be productive citizens.
By Jen on Jul 15, 2007 | Reply
There’s so much crap out there for our kids to get into… including bad TV, bad music, bad internet and more. And it’s our job as parents to monitor what they’re doing. Sure, we have to at some point loosen up, because they’re gonna be out in the unfiltered world someday too. But while I still have any possibility of influencing them, I will. So yeah, I check on all kids of my kids’ internet activities, and it’s very interesting to be their friends FB friends.
By Peggy on Jul 16, 2007 | Reply
As much as I like to torment my teenage children, I find that Facebook is a balancing act. We all know that our kids are putting information out there through blogs and wall posts for a very public audience. However, many teens see it as a personal journal. Just like I wouldn’t read my child’s journal, I think it is important to think twice about rifling through their Facebook profile–especially if they are older.
I think it starts with intense monitoring when they start using the site, talking about things as they go–you know, the whole teachable moment thing. To some extent its all about training. My older teen has shown himself worthy and I almost never check his site. I do, however, keep the dialouge open, asking things like “what picture do you have up” or “what song do you have on your profile” or even ” what do you think is your best blog–can I read it?” I am also still on his friends list and, if need be, can check every now and then.
Ultimately, we want to raise kids who know how to use the technology wisely. We can’t be naive, but I do think that, in some cases, we do need to give them their space.
Just a few thoughts